Loki and Don had had two of these little outings since it was brought up on New Years. It was worth the drive, as Loki wouldn't ask Don to meet him halfway, or even come to Brooklyn. No, he was okay with the drive it gave him time to get his head together to not make a fool of himself.
The first one they had toasted to Thor's victory, the NFL season usually ended in December, but delays had made the final game played just after New Years. Loki had been proud, and Don likely just as excited given his team was going to Superbowl. There was a month until the game, the second outing Loki didn't bring it up at all. After talking with his mother and Thor, he had put his foot down and insisted if he had to take the week off of work, at least let him bring his friends.
Loki had been grinning awhile since they met at once of the fancier restaurants not too far from town, closer to the manor. A nice view of the river from their seats. A candle lit between as they made some small talk.
"Sounds like quite a bit of work." Loki chuckled at whatever Don had just said, as their waitress poured them both more wine. The food was due soon. "Do you have anything pressing happening in the next few weeks?" He asked, his sly way to making sure he wouldn't ruin Don's business.
"It is, but I'm excited about it." Just work chatter, really. Giving Loki some updates on the wedding situation between sips of water and wine. (If Loki notices, Don keeps switching back and forth from one glass to another. The motions rather casual. Is he the type of guy who puts ice cubes in his wine? He didn't do that during dinner at his place...)
After the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, Don's more than okay with diving headfirst into a new project. New year, new him, new opportunities. The kids are less needy now that they've got dog-sitting responsibilities every once in a while, plus their video games are still shiny and new and distracting. And he's doing things like this - meeting his closest friend for fancy dinner. A bit too fancy for his tastes, and he thinks he's a bit underdressed, but... at least he wore a decent jacket. That counts for something, right?
"Oh - uh. Not really. Just got the big game to watch. That's about it." He's been practically buzzing about it ever since he found out Thor's team was going to the Super Bowl, but hasn't mentioned it to Loki since last time. He knows his friend doesn't care for sports, so it's keep to himself. Even though he wants to explode.
He smiles, setting his water glass down on the table. Not quite making the switch yet. Loki has his full attention. "Why - what's up?"
"I am pleased to hear it. It is an important opportunity for you, and a welcoming of Jane into my family. Someone I can actually stand to speak to at these events." He mused. Don knows by now he's probably being hyperbole. He clearly loves his mother and gets on well with Thor most of the time. Loki has noticed the ice, and slower drinks, but said nothing.
He assumed Don wanted to get home sober, or was taking it easy. Maybe a new year's resolution to drink less. Either way, he wouldn't judge. As it was, his car was at his moms. He had taken an Uber here. Not wanting Don to worry if he was drinking and getting behind the wheel again. His therapist had not been pleased to hear he drove tipsy a few weeks ago.
If Don let him know it was too fancy, Loki would be just as fine going anywhere Don wanted, but for now, he was trying to impress his friend. Thinking he looked good in the candlelight, adjusting the cuff links Don and the boys got him for Christmas as he lifted his wine and nodded, sitting back.
That smile was enough to make his heart skip a beat. "Well, I spoke with the family earlier this week, a rather large Zoom call as Hela and her husband were there too." Of course, they zoomed. "How would you and the boys like to be my guests to go to the game and Disney after? Mother and Mr. Odinson told us to bring any guests we want, as some people from work will be there as well. Travel and any other costs would be on me, naturally. This would be a huge favor to me. I can't say no, and you know I can't stand the sport." Lies, lies, lies. But, he wants Don there. He knew he rambled, and he worried Don might have some kind of reaction, he wanted to give him time.
Unfortunately, he timed it as their waitress brought their food and placed the plates down. Loki, paying her no mind, as Don was more important at the moment.
After the words go to the game hit him - well, that's it. Don is staring at his best friend across the table in stunned silence. Loki's talking - he can see his mouth moving - but there's nothing else coming through. It's like the television's been muted.
Did he just--? No, there's no way. But maybe he did? He can't be serious, right?
...
Earth to Don?
"What?" is all he manages to blurt out after what seems like forever (it isn't). There's no anger. Mostly confusion with an expression on his face to back it up. A furrowed brow with a look of sheer bewilderment in his eyes.
He continues staring, even as their food is set down in front of them. And it isn't until their waitress leaves that he says something else. He's so distracted he doesn't even thank the girl - that proves he's flustered.
"You're inviting us? To go with you." Because he didn't hear most of what was just to him. He needs to double check.
Loki didn't notice the way Don's brain needed to reboot after that request. Taking a drink of the wine, after a few seconds of silence, he tipped his head waiting for Don to speak. It wasn't really that long to worry, but Loki knew his friend, and they rambled fast together.
Then Don spoke, and he smiled and nodded. The confusion said it all.
It's more clear when Don doesn't thank the girl, Loki usually mutters a quiet thanks while Don thanks people in his beautiful way. Opps, she didn't seem upset though, he'd tip her well either way. "Yes, Don, I would like you and the boys to be there with me. Lest I am bored out of my mind. I understand if it is a little last minute, but it could be a once in a lifetime kind of trip for all four of us."
Instinct tells Don to yell YES of course he’ll go, but that pesky, ever-present need to be a responsible adult and parent of two barges in to take over.
Here comes the nervous rambling, the way Don just keeps talking and gesturing with his hands while his brain desperately attempts to keep up with his mouth.
“Well yeah - it’s a little last minute. The boys have school and I got work and - this… is… just…. a lot?”
He nearly knocks over his wine glass, bumping it with his hand instead of picking it up. It’s a decent enough recovery, and when he raises it to his lips he’s taking a hearty swig.
When was the last time he had a vacation? Went anywhere? He racks his brain - it was years ago. The boys were small, and he had help. He had his wife. Now he’s lucky if the shop can break even in a decent quarter. There’s always so much to do and it never seems to get him the slightest bit above water.
Does he deserve a break? Absolutely. He won’t deny that. But does he deserve something like this? He isn’t sure. From the details he could actually process it’s… a lot. Too much. Why would his friend even entertain the idea of spending ridiculous amounts of money on him and his family? Especially after Christmas? Unheard of.
He’s gone silent for far too long, and the realization hits him causing more nervousness by way of embarrassment. Just say something. After another sip of wine, of course.
He clears his throat, looking utterly pathetic. Like he’s just been scolded for something.
“Why?”
Despite Loki just explaining why. Sure, Don heard it. Loud and clear. But that doesn’t mean he believes it.
"I do understand that, school is very important. As is the flower shop, yes. But, I challenge that with the question of when did you last let yourself have a break?" A serious question, Loki knows just how hard Don works, even before Rosie died, he had heard the stories. Even if Loki just wanted to have his crush close, and spoil Rosie and Don's sons, the fact remained. Donald Marcus deserved a vacation.
"I will help you with your taxes, as I said months ago, this week or so away won't affect your business, and the boys should be able to catch up. If the three of you wish to go."
The question of why was expected, but not a complete surprise. Of course, Don hadn't listened moments before. He couldn't be mad about it. He is sure its quite the bomb he just dropped.
"Because, as I said, I would like the company of someone I can stand. I am miserable around my family, and Thor has already guilted me into saying yes. If you are concerned about the money, please don't be. Let me worry about that." He knew for a fact that his father intended to write off the whole trip anyway, he wouldn't lose much in the whole thing. "I would rather have you and the boys there than Dale from accounting, who Mr. Odinson already invited." A grumble in his tone there. "And Kate said no." He tossed in expecting that to come next.
Lifting his wine, he took a sip. Looking at his crush once more. "If you don't want to, I understand, but I would like you to come."
There it is. When was the last time he had a break? Wasn't he just trying to figure this out in the jumbled, anxious mess that is his brain?
"I... don't... know?" The statement comes out more like a question and Don grits his teeth as his shoulders shrug, almost like he's expecting to be scolded for it. A visual way of saying oops.
His elbows go on the table - quite impolite of him, really - and his face goes right into his hands. Completely ignoring the fact that his food's been getting cold on the plate in front of him this whole time. He sits there like that for a few moments, listening to Loki's attempt at talking him down from the proverbial ledge. Nodding a bit every once in a while whenever he agrees with something specific.
Loki did say he'd help with the taxes this year, potentially find him some extra cash. That's fine. A week seems like such a long time to be closed - especially since he just did it for Christmas and New Year's. Valentine's is looming dangerously close, and he needs to worry about prepping for that. Plus it's difficult enough getting the boys to do their homework on a normal night...
"I'm always concerned about the money, Lokes," he admits, glancing up for a moment. He scrubs at his face with his hands, sitting back in his chair. A man in his position can't not. And it seems like the paycheck from all the wedding planning is so far away...
A frown. "He invited Dale? Why Dale?" Don't make him laugh.
Unless that's the intention here? Sneaky, sneaky...
"Look." Hands on the table. He tries centering himself, taking a moment to remember how to breathe. There's nothing he can do about the pathetic puppy look on his face. That's unfixable. "Of course I wanna go. I'd be a crazy liar if I said I didn't. It's a once in a lifetime kinda thing - like you said. How could I say no to that?"
Loki didn't count the Christmas break, Don clearly stayed busy as hell during it. He wanted to treat his best friend to a real vacation. One he would remember for a long time. Something he wished he could have done for Don and Rosie before she passed. Now, it was different. Now he just wanted to go with Don and the boys to see them all three happy.
"Answer me this, what harm would it do? I am offering, and I do not expect any payback, short of maybe some of your amazing cooking." Had he mentioned he loved when Don cooked for him? It's true, you can taste happiness in food, it seems.
Loki gave him a look at the elbows, before it vanished. His friend was distressed, that hard boarding school manner was hard to kick even when Don didn't have it. Loki was annoyed a little by the elbows but said nothing. Superbowl was a few days after Valentines this year, so it all just seemed like it would mesh well to Loki. The second sunday would be the 17th. A few days after Dons busy week.
"I know you are." Loki knew he had had this conversation with Rosie before when he had offered something expensive. He couldn't remember if it was a medical bill or a car repair that she had mentioned, but it was one of those times she told him no. A hard line, but one he wished he could have pushed. That was when Don and Rosie had two incomes. Don just had the one. "I do not fault that, you work very hard and that is admirable. Please don't think I would ever let you fall into finical trouble for something I want. Money, I have, worthy friends are in short supply. That is part of why I want to cover everything on this trip."
Reaching over, despite his mind screaming at him not to, he placed a hand on Don's arm. "Just say yes, we can worry about the rest later. You certainly deserve it more than Dale" The disdain in his tone as he said the other man's name. "I assume he invited the snitch to play golf with him or something, I don't care. So, say yes, and let me worry about the details."
What harm would it do? None, really. Besides making Loki's bank account empty a bit. Don nearly makes a comment about that (as a joke) but decides against it. He just swallows it down along with a big sip of water.
"I'll cook whatever you want," he decides to go with, clearing his throat as the glass is set down. It's doable. He'd do it in a heartbeat. They've already had dinner at his place how many times since November? "You name it, you got it. You'll never have to DoorDash ever again." He says this with a smile, one that's so sincere in its desperation. Please laugh. He's trying to be funny to soothe his nerves.
That same puppy dog look on his face, Don looks away from Loki only to glance down at his friend's hand on his arm. He doesn't flinch, doesn't move a muscle, doesn't pull away. Just - observes for a moment before redirecting his attention. He honestly can't believe this, can't even begin to understand why this is happening. Rosie would want them to go. After her initial shock at how much everything would cost (of course). She was always so supportive like that, and he always wanted to give her the world in return. But--
"Of course we'll go with you."
He exhales the loudest sigh of relief once he gets the words out. And then he's just laughing, the arm under Loki's hand shifting so he can grab his friend's hand instead for the most awkward shake. It's not a hug, but it's something for the meanwhile over the dinner table. If it weren't in the way - he'd be throwing his arms around Loki's shoulders.
...Totally forgetting about Dale and his stupid golf game until a thought hits him.
"I need to tell the kids."
Don's food continues getting colder in front of him as he shifts in his seat to pull out his phone. Sean is getting a text. One second, sorry.
His phone starts buzzing instantly and Don commits the taboo of answering it, turning away and whispering into it with a hand covering his mouth.
"I can't talk right now but yes. We're going. I just told you. You can tell Kev, yeah. Don't freak out. We'll talk more about it when I get home. Heat up those leftovers like I told you alright? PB and J isn't okay for dinner. Love you too."
And he ends the call, trying not to look oh so giddy as he mouths an apology to Loki and hides his phone away.
If Loki was worried about his finances, he wouldn't have offered. Good company was worth so much more than money. Yes, the price for the trip would likely even stick shock him, but it wouldn't hurt him in the long run. He had already decided it wasn't coming out of the trust, he mostly lived off the interest of the trust or if he went over that pulled from his account his salary goes into. Which was what this trip was coming from.
A chuckle rolled free of him. "I may just take you up on that, but, we will see, you know how hard it is for me to say no to your cooking." The smile grew when Don finally agreed. A brilliant smile offered the man's way. No way did he expect Don to cook for him more than he does, but he would always enjoy what Don makes and give his honest feedback.
Squeezing Don's hand back in the awkward shake. Looking utterly amused, as he sat back, taking his hand back, so Don could let the boys know. Lifting his fork and knife, he had let his food get cold enough, Don had to deal with the boys, so Loki started eating. A beautiful fish presentation, with a few sides.
Loki isn't even bothered when Don answers the boys. He actually looks happy before taking another bite, giving Don the time to talk to his boys. It didn't seem possible that he would be able to fall more for the older man, and yet, here it was. Don putting his children before manners. That neither of his parents would ever do. That earned Don so much respect. Maybe he would have been better off if his parents had put him before their reputations, but whose to say.
Shaking his head when he saw that mouthed apology, Loki shakes his head, still smiling. "They are your boys, I will never judge you taking care of them before anything else. As I have said before, you are a fantastic father, Donald Marcus. Now, you simply must try this before it gets too cold."
And he'll stick to his guns. Loki can say he's handling everything and that Don doesn't have to do a single thing for him in return - but this is just how the older man is. How exactly can he pay back an all expenses paid trip to the Super Bowl for him and his kids plus all the extras? Don hasn't got the slightest idea. But he'll figure it out. Somehow. He won't be able to live with himself otherwise.
He has so much energy now! Excited energy, nervous energy. Don can't believe this is a thing that's happening. He nearly asks to be excused so he can go for a walk, but - dinner. Right. There is glorious (expensive) food sitting in front of him that's going to waste. His stomach is doing somersaults, but he has to at least try and eat.
"Is it still good?" he asks, picking up his silverware before digging in himself. (His napkin has been laid out over his lap this whole time. Real proper-like.)
Don is positively beaming as he cuts into his fish, unable to stop talking about his kids. He blushes a bit at being called a fantastic father and does his best to shrug it off. "He's so excited. Kev's gonna flip out too. This means so much, Loke. Thank you."
And when he takes his first bite, he sits with it and contemplates. He doesn't speak until he's swallowed. "...What sort of sea bass was this again?" he asks, pointing the prongs of his fork down towards his plate. "Real nice flavor."
For once Don doesn't seem tired. He's usually lively in his free time - especially if it's being spent with his best friend. But there's something different here, like he's been completely renewed and refreshed and the circles beneath his eyes have been erased.
Loki just smiled in return, he didn't tell Don not to worry about it this once. He knew the answer he would get by now. And Don likely knew by now that once Loki started eating, he would ramble a little less until he was finished. Despite the feelings Loki tries to bottle up for the older man, just being his friend and as honest as Don is with him, was more than worth the loss of that money for the trip. It's not even a loss, it's a memory to be made for Don and the boys.
Had Don asked, Loki would have understood the food could be boxed up. His microwave was the hardest worked appliance in his house, besides maybe the coffee marker and kettle. "It is, while a little cold it is fine." While most might expect him to be picky about food, he really isn't. He loves to eat and gets distracted a lot at work, so cold food is kind of normal for him at this point. It was still flavorful.
Another bite or two was taken as Loki listened to Don, nodding some. "I am glad I can help with making them happy with this. You're welcome, Don. Thank you for agreeing." It would be easier to play aloof with someone there to talk too, if he was on his own, his family might realize he actually cares about Thor's sports career. Can't have that.
"Black sea bass, I believe, it said." He knew it did, but saying it that way sounded better in his head. "Oh yes, I agree. Still, not as good as the lemon pepper ones you made a month or two ago." He admitted. As expensive as this was, he'd happily sit at Don's table and eat anything the man made. Dinner here was just to get Don out of the house and let him walk along the peir as they had before dinner.
Loki doesn't say anything about it, but seeing that strange energy shift in Don makes him smile. Returning to his food but feeling warm from helping his best friend seem lighter and excited.
"I'll annoy you about the details later yeah?" he asks with a smile. He doesn't want to interrupt their dinner any further. It's already been put on hold long enough. And he'd like some time to breathe before beginning to worry about logistics. So many things to do in order for him and the kids to prep to leave... Nope, stop it. Don't ruin this.
"Oh what - the tilapia?" Don makes a face, resting his fork at the edge of his plate. "That was nothing." And yeah he can't take a compliment either. Lemon pepper tilapia with couscous isn't anything special. He's made it a million times before, just switch the couscous out for rice or veggies or--
"...Thanks, that's sweet." There he is, finally taking the compliment after much internal debate. Looking so bashful about it as he picks up his fork and pops another bite of the fish into his mouth. He washes it down with a healthy gulp of wine, then lets out a rather relaxed-sounding sigh - all things considered. He can't stay ruffled for too long with the prospect of a well-deserved break looming in the near future. Logistics be damned.
"And I will annoy you for details I will need as well." He's got to get plane tickets and reservations made. Despite being completely willing to front the bill, Loki planned to shop around and see how he could save a little here and there.
Loki didn't seem to bothered by any of it, just working on his fish, it was cooling yes, but still delicious. Nodding when Don named the fish. "Says the man who cooks as good as any professional chef. And in your spare time at that." Loki spoke, pointing a fork Don's way. Nope, Loki is not letting Don play that down. Don was quickly becoming his favorite cook he could see often.
"You're welcome." A smile offered his way before Loki went back to work on finishing the fish. Waving off more wine when the waitress offered more.
Plane tickets and reservations and all sorts of other preparations. Don's head is dizzy with it all. A jumble of giddy excitement and worry. He's already making a mental list of things he's got to do, all the while enjoying this delicious dinner to his utmost ability. He'd enjoy it regardless - because look at the company sitting across from him at the table - but still. So much to think about and look forward to. It's almost like a dream, and it'll probably remain feeling like one until he's there experiencing it for himself.
"Annoy away," he comments, poking at some veggies with his fork. "My day doesn't feel complete until you've annoyed me at least once." And he pops the fork into his mouth, giving Loki a closed-mouth smile as he chews.
"Mm, professional chef? Maybe I'm in the wrong line of business." He's thought about it before - cooking for living. But he'd probably have to go to school or something, really throw himself into it to get anywhere. Taking care of flowers and floral arrangements come easy to him, and he's got a responsibility there with the shop.
Don doesn't say anything more, just smiles to himself at the kind words. It's nice to hear them once in a while. He appreciates the gesture.
When Loki waves the waitress away, Don actually gets her attention to top off his glass. He gets a little chatty too, most likely his way of apologizing for blowing her off entirely earlier in the meal. She's getting a generous tip too. Cash. And no, Loki's not handling that. Don will be the one to leave it in the check holder, he insists.
It had been stupid, he shouldn't have kissed Don, and after weeks of silence, Loki was finally heading back to Don's house. Thor had burst through his bedroom door earlier that day and finally ripped into him, as someone needed to do for weeks now. Thor had been working with Don on the wedding flower planning since the season was done, and he could see the misery on Don as much as on Loki.
He might not be the sharpest tack but after the talk at Disney, the weeks working with Don, and the call from their mom and now this? Absolutely not. The fight was only screaming until Loki grabbed his bag that was still packed from sleep-overs on Don's couch, and currently had his laptop in it, and made his way out.
Loki had already planned to go see Don today, but he had been fretting when Thor burst in. His nerves wavering as he finally pulled onto Don's street. Fenrir asleep in the back, he couldn't leave his boy behind when he saw Loki with the bag. When the car stopped, Loki took a moment to collect himself before stepping out with the bag and letting Fenrir out. His furry son awake by the time he shut the engine off. He could see the boys peering out the window, and vanishing. The door was about to open and he knew it. "Come." He spoke to Fenrir making his way to the door.
Sundays at the Marcus house have been total free-for-alls as of late. After weeks and now months of no contact with Loki, Don has given up. Usually Sunday is his day - since it's his only one free from work - but now he hardly does a thing. There's none of his customary tidying, cooking, meal prep for the week of fresh hell that looms ever closer. No harping on the boys to make sure the yard is clear of toys or their rooms are clean or anything to that effect. These can all be problems for during the week. He's exhausted - thoroughly - and he just... needs to sit. The pep in his step nowhere to be found. The spark finally extinguished.
Tonight Don is begrudgingly working on his taxes, struggling to figure out how to take care of the ones for the shop. He sits alone at the kitchen table, the freshest flowers meant for Frigga yet undelivered as always in the green vase at the center. Mug of cold, forgotten coffee beside him. So many papers and receipts and folders strewn across his open ledger. Music softly coming from his cell phone, face down and left close to the vase.
He had told Sean and Kevin to occupy themselves after they packed up the leftovers from their Chinese delivery for dinner, that he had work to do. Real boring work. Lots of numbers and forms. They know better than to act up when he's like this, so he hasn't heard a peep in hours. He glances at the clock on the wall, no longer tempted to turn over his phone and check the screen (there won't be any notifications or anything there anyway so what's the point), and considers taking a break soon to get the boys to bed.
He goes back to the receipts in front of him, still sorting through this particular pile, when he picks up the faintest commotion from the front of the house. The bark of a dog - Fenrir's bark. His brows knit, but he doesn't move from his chair. The rush of padded feet and then the front door being unlocked and flung open.
"LOKI!"
Don turns so quick in his seat the motion of his arm sends his mug straight to the floor. It smashes on the tile, breaking into several hefty pieces, cold coffee splattering across the squares and grout. He flinches but only for a moment, casually glancing back at the mess and reassigning its importance in record time. It's not important. It can wait. Before he realizes it he's in the front hall, standing there dumbfounded with a pile of receipts still clutched in his hand, a look of utter disbelief on his face as he witnesses the boys fussing with Fenrir and sets eyes on the man he thought he'd never see again.
As soon as the door is flung open, Loki has both hands holding the strap of the bag hanging over his shoulders. A little stubbly, his hair a mess, and dressed in a pair of jeans, a Werewolves of London under an open leather jacket. A far cry from his usual look. Though Don and the boys have seen the jacket and jeans before, he had worn both when he took Fenrir for a walk on New Years day, with the boys.
Fenrir was busy tackling Sean to the floor licking all over his face, while trying to also lick at Kevin. Puppy was just so happy. While Loki's eyes locked on Don, he gave a sharp whistle, which got Fenrir to let Sean up. As Loki stepped past the three. "Excuse me, boys."
Making his way, with the bag still over his shoulder instead of dropped on the couch. "Sorry, I am late, Don." It was lame, but it was better than saying nothing. His eyes sad, and voice scratchy still from the actual sickness he was still recovering from. The flu that made him a week late in finally reuniting with the man. "May we speak?" A respectable distance left between them. He had heard that coffee cup break when the boys opened the door. So he wanted to wait and see what Don said.
The boys are so excited to see Loki - and by extension, Fenrir. They're far too preoccupied with puppy kisses and playful wrestling on the floor right inside the front door to even consider Loki might be looking scruffier and less put-together than usual, possibly a bit underweight. Don clocks it as soon as he comes into view, the expression on his face quite unreadable for once. There's a seriousness in his eyes, his jaw is set but not clenched. Loki looks miserable - just like Don feels.
"Late?" he repeats, a sharpness to his tone. He exhales slowly, nearly throws his arms up, almost loses his resolve. But no. No. He's not going to blow up. He can't do that - not here, not in front of the kids. "Loki, it's been two months."
There's an annoyed shake of his head, a gesture for Loki to follow him, and Don turns on his heels to head back towards the kitchen. Doesn't even wait for him, just stares straight ahead on his way. But he makes sure to call out to the boys before he forgets, mustering the most pleasant voice he can manage: "Guys, please make sure to lock up. Bed soon, alright?"
When he enters the kitchen, the receipts he's holding are carelessly dropped onto the table by where he was seated. He pauses, observing the mess of spilled coffee and broken ceramic on the floor next to his chair, and he drags his feet over to the sink. Determined to clean up as a means of distracting himself from the incoming conversation.
Loki expects it is Fenrir more than him for the boys, and he's not even bothered by that. He wants them to keep busy while they adults talk. They don't need to know anything is wrong, lord, when did he become like his mother?
He knows that answer. Following Don silently, his bag sat down on a chair while Don cleans up the coffee, taking a breath as he watched him a moment and waited until he finally has his words as Don's cleaning.
"I shouldn't have ghosted you." He admits it, sounding sad as he said it. "I just knew that kissing a straight man like I did was not smart. I assumed you would hate me." He shifted his green eyes to Don. "I couldn't bear the thought of you hating me, Don. So, I ran." Reaching up to run a hand through his messy hair. He hated what a mess he had become, but if he had cleaned up more he would have chickened out. "Mum spoke to me a couple weeks ago, but then the whole office got sick." He shrugged some. "Covid, what can you do? I had to wait until I was better. I'm sorry, Don, for any pain I caused. You mean the world to me, I don't want to lose you."
Don's annoyed at himself for breaking a mug, sure, but at least it's not one of sentimental value. The ones of Rosie's he's kept are safely stored away at the back of the cabinet never to see the light of day.
Spilling his coffee all over the floor proves to be more of a godsend than anything else, because it helps him bite his tongue and keep biting it as Loki fumbles his way through whatever it is he's trying to say. The more he rambles, the deeper the ditch he's digging for himself.
Don remains silent, occasionally shaking his head yet not saying a single word in response to any of it. In one way it's respectful - he's waiting until Loki is finished. In another, he's forcing himself not to blurt out something he might regret later. Carefully, the pieces of mug are picked up from the tile, and he gathers them in a dish rag he holds in his open palm. They go straight in the trash bin under the sink. It's too late to mop, so paper towels are the course of the action for the coffee mess itself. When all is said and done, it's not the best clean-up job, but it's fine for the time being. Another problem for another day. He's too tired, his blood threatening to boil over.
When he chucks the used up paper towels into the bin, that's slid back to its proper home beneath the sink. He closes the cabinet door slow and quiet. There's no slam. When he straightens up, he's looking out the window over the sink as he washes his hands, out into the dark, seemingly at nothing. Loki's stopped talking by now, and he's just... processing. Considering.
"Made a whole lotta assumptions there," he finally comments after what seems like forever. He turns off the water, dries his hands. After a minute he turns to face his friend, but he can't look up, doesn't dare make an attempt at eye contact. He leans back against the counter, hands propping himself on the edge. Staring at the tile and the table legs and Loki's feet as he tries formulating what to say next.
"I don't think I could ever hate you, Loki." He swallows, shifting the way he's standing. Uncomfortable. "But you disappeared without a word. Couldn't even text me back?"
That last thing comes out as more of a question, and Don looks up, an expression of the utmost hurt plastered all over his face. It's not something he can hide or even try to. Because yeah - he's hurt. He's been hurt for weeks now.
To be fair, if Loki knew there were any of Rosie's mugs left, he might have asked for one as a birthday gift. He missed Don's wife more than he cared to admit.
This rambling is exactly why Loki gets in trouble with his family as much as he does. That hot temper and all of his issues together did not make a healthy person. Loki watched as he spoke as Don cleaned up the mug and moved about. His anxiety growing when his friend didn't cut him off and jump in as he often did in the garage.
Unsure what to do with his hands, he left them at his side as Don finally started to speak. Those tired green eyes watching him. "I did..." He admitted nodding softly, messy curls bouncing as he did.
Both relief and pain drifted through him as Don spoke. "I didn't know what to say... I'm sorry." He apologized, his voice regretful as he spoke it. His therapist had given him the riot act too. Finally, reaching into his pocket and holding his hand out, a set of keys in his hand. "I know I have a problem with running, it's one of the things I work with my therapist on. Take these, these are both keys to my house. If I dare do this again, come confront me." They were clearly newly made keys, too. That hurt look on Don stabs his heart as he held the keys Don's ways.
The hurt turns into pure confusion, his gaze redirecting to the shiny keys. Don's brows knit tightly together, and he's at a loss for words. Frowning some, straightening up with his back still to the counter. Desperately trying to process this.
"I'm sorry I ghosted here are the keys to my house?" is what he settles on, perhaps a bit too prematurely. It's either this or let the extremely awkward silence grow and grow and become way too uncomfortable... Even more than it already is.
"...Your therapist told you to make copies of your house keys." It's not a question. It's a statement. Like he's trying to convince himself this is totally rational.
He doesn't take them. His arms cross over his chest instead.
Loki was a little cracked, but it all made sense to him. It is the same reason his Mother, Jane and Thor had keys.
"It sounds weird when you say it that way. This is me saying I don't want to lose this again. And If I do it again, please come drag me out. This is my promise that you are one of the most important people in my life, Don."
Keys still held out, as he watched Don with those green eyes.
"No, she told me I was a moron and to fix it. This is me trying to fix it, that, and I am also here to do your taxes as I promised too. I thought those together might help some."
Don keeps looking up at Loki, then down towards the keys. Up, down. Back, forth. Still frowning, still crossing his arms while he (begrudgingly) listens to what his friend has to say. It's the weirdest sort of apology, but it's still an apology... and he's very wary regardless of that.
"Have a seat, I guess," he finally decides on. He nods toward the kitchen table, the mess of receipts and papers on top of it. No mention of the keys. He'll have to mull that over for a little while.
"I can put on a fresh pot of coffee. Or put the kettle on for tea. It's whatever you want."
Before Loki can give him an answer, he's already milling about in preparation.
He had every reason to be weary, being ghosted hurt like nothing else. Worrying daily if the person would do it again. Loki wanted the keys to keep that pain from staying with Don. Don meant so much to him, and he didn't want his best friend hurt, as he had made so many others hurt in the past.
"Alright." A second spared to step back to grab his laptop from his bag to place it on the table. Moving to look over the mess of recipes and papers as he loaded up his laptop and he started to organize everything quickly while Don spoke. "Tea sounds divine, but this feels like a coffee night."
His leather jacket removed and hung on the back of the chair as he sat and started to look over the papers. "Whatever is easiest."
"Coffee night it is," Don announces, heaving a sigh. He's already taking the steps towards the fridge to grab the nice water from inside and fill the coffee pot up with that instead of straight from the tap. The cold leftovers in the pot itself from hours ago are unceremoniously dumped in the sink, the vessel rinsed out for a moment.
After that, the kitchen is uncomfortably quiet save for that faint rustling of those papers as he sifts through the cabinets and pulls out everything he needs. There's nothing for him to say, really. Nothing he can think of saying at the moment. He's still angry, sure. And a large part of him doesn't want to jump straight to forgiveness, despite the other desperately wanting to fix this. And what about the house keys...
He dares to glance over his shoulder at Loki seated at the table every once in a while, wanting to say something but shutting his mouth before turning back and busying himself some more. Loki hasn't done anything like this before with him. It's a first-time offense. Hopefully a last-time? But should he give him another chance...? It was quite the disappearing act, one that sent him through the wringer multiple times.
The mental debate and gymnastics continue as he waits leaning against the counter for the coffee to brew. It's only then he bothers grabbing a few mugs from their designated cabinet close by, following that up with creamer and sugar. Everything is deposited on the table a decent distance away from where Loki's working (no spills, please). And finally he brings the steaming mugs of fresh black coffee over to the table, setting one down for Loki, the other for himself, before he sits himself back in his chair from earlier.
"Is it bad?" he asks, changing the subject as he loosely gestures towards the stack of receipts and invoices. He isn't reaching for creamer or sugar, opting to take his first sip without any. "Be honest. I probably did a terrible job and messed it up more."
Those house keys that Loki sat on the edge of the table near the paperwork, waiting for Don, a little sailboat key ring on it. Loki spent time picking out a key ring that screamed Don.
Loki was already doing what he does best. Finding order in chaos, the papers being quickly moved around and stacked as his laptop was already booted and loaded to the pages he would need, and the Excel sheet he intended to make. Regretting not bringing his portable scanner, but it was fine. This he can do.
"No, no, this is nothing compared to when I was forced into my position at Ragnarok, it took me three months to get the books in order. This may take three hours, and that is just from making a spreadsheet too in case you get audited, you would be prepared." He explained.
Reaching for the black coffee he offered Don a soft smile before having to sit the cup down quickly and turning to cough. Standing to go wash his hands at the sink real fast. "They told me the cough will linger a few weeks, I promise I am not contagious." Always worried given how fast Rosie got sick. "Don't worry, it's not bad, even if you did, I can do this, Don." Returning to his seat for a drink of the coffee.
Don notices the keychain as he putters about. It's cute. He catches himself nearly smiling but forces himself to put on a gruff expression. He's supposed to be angry. Loki isn't getting away with this.
That doesn't stop his gaze from drifting towards the keys while they sit at the table together. He keeps sipping at his coffee, wanting to pick them up but resisting.
...His own set of house keys? Really? They kissed, Loki bailed, and now... house keys. After countless weeks of radio silence.
He sighs, perhaps a bit too loudly. He's stuck inside his own head even when he should be focusing on the tax conversation. How could he not be??
"Three hours?" He sets his mug down, glances over at the clock on the wall. "It's already late. Real late. You don't need ta do all this now."
...He also didn't need to come here in the first place. Let him apologize, Don.
He's fighting with himself on the inside, going quiet once again. Idly tapping at the side of his mug.
"What happened, Lokes?" He could be asking about the illness. Or he could be asking about something else entirely.
It's the "something else entirely" - punctuated by the way he's staring Loki down as he comes back to sit at the table.
Loki doesn't expect quick forgiveness, lord knows he made Thor jump through hopes to be forgiven. And all Thor had done was make him feel worthless without meaning too. Loki willingly hurt Don thinking it was best.
The sigh has the green eyes peering over the laptop at him, Loki's fingers still moving quickly as he gets everything set up. He had enjoyed the kiss, but assuming Don was straight, he ran, he didn't want to lose his best friend, but that was what he nearly did. "I work better if I just do it all at once, you don't have to stay up unless you don't trust me alone here. I would understand after what I have done." Hes slept on that couch a lot.
Taking a break, he stopped typing a moment and looked at Don. "I panicked." He admitted low, his eyes staying on Don, the shame there. "I thought you would be mad and never want to see me again. By the time Mother and Thor spoke to me about it, I felt like I had waited too long. It didn't matter that I made myself miserable, hearing how you felt made me feel worse. I wanted to find a way to fix it, but I was scared you'd hate me for one reason or another. Which, again, is an ongoing problem I have been working with my therapist on." The taxes could wait a moment as he spoke.
"You mean the world to me, Don, but I never wanted to make you uncomfortable."
Don listens, still tapping at his mug, picking it up once or twice to busy himself with more sips of coffee. Anything to channel the odd mix of angry nervous energy he can't quite shake. Interrupting would be rude and uncalled for and he's already raised his voice with annoyance enough. It's getting late.
"You ran instead of openin' your mouth," he comments, trying not to sigh again and failing. "We coulda avoided this whole... [shitshow] thing if you said something to me."
He frowns a little as a thought comes to him. "Am I really that scary, Lokes?" he wonders out loud. Because really - when has Don ever been scary? Or the least bit intimidating? He doesn't think he is, but sometimes a person isn't aware of their own... energy.
Loki can't help but feel the anxiety amping inside of him. He didn't expect fast forgiveness after what he did. But, seeing Don visably upset and so quiet was unsettling. His fingers kept gliding across the keys until he hit a point where Don had spoke. Lifting his fingers and taking the mug in hand he looked down at first. A noise of agreement following.
Though the question had him looking up at Don like he was crazy.
"You're not. As I said, I am the problem here. It is always me, like Grímnir has always reminded me." A look of guilt crossing his face as he took a drink. "I don't even remember when I started running from my problems. I try not to, but I always default to it. At least since I got kicked out of school I've had this problem. I expect everyone to react violently to me when I mess up. I know you would never, logically, but minds don't always listen to logic."
Loki being kicked out of school was a pretty famous bit of gossip when it happened, it was not too long before he had met Rosie. They never talk about it, but rumors had circulated from he was on drugs, to arrested at a concert for disorderly behavior, and the one closest to the truth, that he had gotten someone pregnant.
"I want to do better, Don. You're my best friend, and I missed you this last month."
"And I don't wanna be a problem, Loki," he replies, shaking his head. Don shifts the way he's sitting, moving his chair just enough to face Loki more head-on. "Don't ever wanna make you feel uncomfortable or like you gotta run away from me, alright?"
The irritation is there, but the sadness is much stronger. The disappointment more than evident. He's trying to navigate all of it and remain as level-headed as possible, and eventually he softens. So much.
"I missed you too. A whole lot." He's quiet when he says it, a sheepish little smile spreading across his features before he glances away. "It's been a pretty shitty month without you."
"You are not and never could be." Loki spoke earnestly, finally pushing the laptop closed for now to focus fully on Don. He would likely start over rather than find his spot later, but for now, eye contact with his beloved friend was far more important.
"I missed you too, Don. I am sorry for all of this." He repeated. "I was so worried I ruined it all." Raking a hand through his messy curls. "Is there any way I can help fix it? I would do anything you ask, Don. I mean that."
“Y’sure about that? Seems like a pretty loaded question to ask.” A pause. “And mean.”
He’s being silly. Just typical Don behavior.
…Or is he?
To counter Loki’s nervous disposition, the older man seems focused and intent. Serious, above all. Leaning in just enough towards him to seem… intimidating in a way, hands folded neatly on the table. Almost like it’s an interrogation.
Don holds it for as long as he can muster, hopefully long enough to illicit some sort of reaction out of Loki before he’s dissolving into little giggles of amusement. It’s the ultimate way to slice through the tension.
“I’m kidding,” he says, stifling the noises with the back of his hand. “You already do enough for me. Just - stick around, okay? Be here.”
And then, almost like an afterthought:
“I could go for another one of those kisses,” he says, his tone light. He leans back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head for a moment before getting comfortable. “That… was really somethin’. If you’re up for it, that is. Don’t want to force you into anything—“
To say Don hasn’t stopped thinking about that magical moment would be the biggest understatement of the century. It’s been replaying on loop for hours, days, weeks. He simply can’t escape it. So maybe another one will knock it out of his head? Momentarily?
He tries not to look too hopeful as he continues to ramble on and on and embarrass himself.
The response made Loki look up color draining from his face as he took in Don. Worried that it may not be his usual silliness, but it could be paranoia too. The more Don sat like he was in trouble, the more color drained from Loki's face.
Then Don dissolved, and Loki finally breathed a breath he didn't know he was holding in.
"You got me..." Loki muttered before finally cracking a grin and chuckling. He still looked like he was sweating bullets, but slowly it was fading as Don spoke on.
"That is what the key is for. If I vanish again, come drag me out, or tell Thor I am being stupid again, okay?" He offered, as Don spoke of the kiss, that grin widened. "Well, Mr. Marcus, I do believe I could grant you that."
The taller standing slowly to make his way over to Don. "Your wish is my command." He teased lightly leaning down to steal a kiss from the older man. Softer than the kiss at Disney but no less feeling in it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
A friends date.
The first one they had toasted to Thor's victory, the NFL season usually ended in December, but delays had made the final game played just after New Years. Loki had been proud, and Don likely just as excited given his team was going to Superbowl. There was a month until the game, the second outing Loki didn't bring it up at all. After talking with his mother and Thor, he had put his foot down and insisted if he had to take the week off of work, at least let him bring his friends.
Loki had been grinning awhile since they met at once of the fancier restaurants not too far from town, closer to the manor. A nice view of the river from their seats. A candle lit between as they made some small talk.
"Sounds like quite a bit of work." Loki chuckled at whatever Don had just said, as their waitress poured them both more wine. The food was due soon. "Do you have anything pressing happening in the next few weeks?" He asked, his sly way to making sure he wouldn't ruin Don's business.
(totally platonic)
After the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, Don's more than okay with diving headfirst into a new project. New year, new him, new opportunities. The kids are less needy now that they've got dog-sitting responsibilities every once in a while, plus their video games are still shiny and new and distracting. And he's doing things like this - meeting his closest friend for fancy dinner. A bit too fancy for his tastes, and he thinks he's a bit underdressed, but... at least he wore a decent jacket. That counts for something, right?
"Oh - uh. Not really. Just got the big game to watch. That's about it." He's been practically buzzing about it ever since he found out Thor's team was going to the Super Bowl, but hasn't mentioned it to Loki since last time. He knows his friend doesn't care for sports, so it's keep to himself. Even though he wants to explode.
He smiles, setting his water glass down on the table. Not quite making the switch yet. Loki has his full attention. "Why - what's up?"
(Nothing to see here, just two guys being dudes.)
He assumed Don wanted to get home sober, or was taking it easy. Maybe a new year's resolution to drink less. Either way, he wouldn't judge. As it was, his car was at his moms. He had taken an Uber here. Not wanting Don to worry if he was drinking and getting behind the wheel again. His therapist had not been pleased to hear he drove tipsy a few weeks ago.
If Don let him know it was too fancy, Loki would be just as fine going anywhere Don wanted, but for now, he was trying to impress his friend. Thinking he looked good in the candlelight, adjusting the cuff links Don and the boys got him for Christmas as he lifted his wine and nodded, sitting back.
That smile was enough to make his heart skip a beat. "Well, I spoke with the family earlier this week, a rather large Zoom call as Hela and her husband were there too." Of course, they zoomed. "How would you and the boys like to be my guests to go to the game and Disney after? Mother and Mr. Odinson told us to bring any guests we want, as some people from work will be there as well. Travel and any other costs would be on me, naturally. This would be a huge favor to me. I can't say no, and you know I can't stand the sport." Lies, lies, lies. But, he wants Don there. He knew he rambled, and he worried Don might have some kind of reaction, he wanted to give him time.
Unfortunately, he timed it as their waitress brought their food and placed the plates down. Loki, paying her no mind, as Don was more important at the moment.
(just two guys being dudes!!)
Did he just--? No, there's no way. But maybe he did? He can't be serious, right?
...
Earth to Don?
"What?" is all he manages to blurt out after what seems like forever (it isn't). There's no anger. Mostly confusion with an expression on his face to back it up. A furrowed brow with a look of sheer bewilderment in his eyes.
He continues staring, even as their food is set down in front of them. And it isn't until their waitress leaves that he says something else. He's so distracted he doesn't even thank the girl - that proves he's flustered.
"You're inviting us? To go with you." Because he didn't hear most of what was just to him. He needs to double check.
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Then Don spoke, and he smiled and nodded. The confusion said it all.
It's more clear when Don doesn't thank the girl, Loki usually mutters a quiet thanks while Don thanks people in his beautiful way. Opps, she didn't seem upset though, he'd tip her well either way. "Yes, Don, I would like you and the boys to be there with me. Lest I am bored out of my mind. I understand if it is a little last minute, but it could be a once in a lifetime kind of trip for all four of us."
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Here comes the nervous rambling, the way Don just keeps talking and gesturing with his hands while his brain desperately attempts to keep up with his mouth.
“Well yeah - it’s a little last minute. The boys have school and I got work and - this… is… just…. a lot?”
He nearly knocks over his wine glass, bumping it with his hand instead of picking it up. It’s a decent enough recovery, and when he raises it to his lips he’s taking a hearty swig.
When was the last time he had a vacation? Went anywhere? He racks his brain - it was years ago. The boys were small, and he had help. He had his wife. Now he’s lucky if the shop can break even in a decent quarter. There’s always so much to do and it never seems to get him the slightest bit above water.
Does he deserve a break? Absolutely. He won’t deny that. But does he deserve something like this? He isn’t sure. From the details he could actually process it’s… a lot. Too much. Why would his friend even entertain the idea of spending ridiculous amounts of money on him and his family? Especially after Christmas? Unheard of.
He’s gone silent for far too long, and the realization hits him causing more nervousness by way of embarrassment. Just say something. After another sip of wine, of course.
He clears his throat, looking utterly pathetic. Like he’s just been scolded for something.
“Why?”
Despite Loki just explaining why. Sure, Don heard it. Loud and clear. But that doesn’t mean he believes it.
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"I will help you with your taxes, as I said months ago, this week or so away won't affect your business, and the boys should be able to catch up. If the three of you wish to go."
The question of why was expected, but not a complete surprise. Of course, Don hadn't listened moments before. He couldn't be mad about it. He is sure its quite the bomb he just dropped.
"Because, as I said, I would like the company of someone I can stand. I am miserable around my family, and Thor has already guilted me into saying yes. If you are concerned about the money, please don't be. Let me worry about that." He knew for a fact that his father intended to write off the whole trip anyway, he wouldn't lose much in the whole thing. "I would rather have you and the boys there than Dale from accounting, who Mr. Odinson already invited." A grumble in his tone there. "And Kate said no." He tossed in expecting that to come next.
Lifting his wine, he took a sip. Looking at his crush once more. "If you don't want to, I understand, but I would like you to come."
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"I... don't... know?" The statement comes out more like a question and Don grits his teeth as his shoulders shrug, almost like he's expecting to be scolded for it. A visual way of saying oops.
His elbows go on the table - quite impolite of him, really - and his face goes right into his hands. Completely ignoring the fact that his food's been getting cold on the plate in front of him this whole time. He sits there like that for a few moments, listening to Loki's attempt at talking him down from the proverbial ledge. Nodding a bit every once in a while whenever he agrees with something specific.
Loki did say he'd help with the taxes this year, potentially find him some extra cash. That's fine. A week seems like such a long time to be closed - especially since he just did it for Christmas and New Year's. Valentine's is looming dangerously close, and he needs to worry about prepping for that. Plus it's difficult enough getting the boys to do their homework on a normal night...
"I'm always concerned about the money, Lokes," he admits, glancing up for a moment. He scrubs at his face with his hands, sitting back in his chair. A man in his position can't not. And it seems like the paycheck from all the wedding planning is so far away...
A frown. "He invited Dale? Why Dale?" Don't make him laugh.
Unless that's the intention here? Sneaky, sneaky...
"Look." Hands on the table. He tries centering himself, taking a moment to remember how to breathe. There's nothing he can do about the pathetic puppy look on his face. That's unfixable. "Of course I wanna go. I'd be a crazy liar if I said I didn't. It's a once in a lifetime kinda thing - like you said. How could I say no to that?"
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"Answer me this, what harm would it do? I am offering, and I do not expect any payback, short of maybe some of your amazing cooking." Had he mentioned he loved when Don cooked for him? It's true, you can taste happiness in food, it seems.
Loki gave him a look at the elbows, before it vanished. His friend was distressed, that hard boarding school manner was hard to kick even when Don didn't have it. Loki was annoyed a little by the elbows but said nothing. Superbowl was a few days after Valentines this year, so it all just seemed like it would mesh well to Loki. The second sunday would be the 17th. A few days after Dons busy week.
"I know you are." Loki knew he had had this conversation with Rosie before when he had offered something expensive. He couldn't remember if it was a medical bill or a car repair that she had mentioned, but it was one of those times she told him no. A hard line, but one he wished he could have pushed. That was when Don and Rosie had two incomes. Don just had the one. "I do not fault that, you work very hard and that is admirable. Please don't think I would ever let you fall into finical trouble for something I want. Money, I have, worthy friends are in short supply. That is part of why I want to cover everything on this trip."
Reaching over, despite his mind screaming at him not to, he placed a hand on Don's arm. "Just say yes, we can worry about the rest later. You certainly deserve it more than Dale" The disdain in his tone as he said the other man's name. "I assume he invited the snitch to play golf with him or something, I don't care. So, say yes, and let me worry about the details."
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"I'll cook whatever you want," he decides to go with, clearing his throat as the glass is set down. It's doable. He'd do it in a heartbeat. They've already had dinner at his place how many times since November? "You name it, you got it. You'll never have to DoorDash ever again." He says this with a smile, one that's so sincere in its desperation. Please laugh. He's trying to be funny to soothe his nerves.
That same puppy dog look on his face, Don looks away from Loki only to glance down at his friend's hand on his arm. He doesn't flinch, doesn't move a muscle, doesn't pull away. Just - observes for a moment before redirecting his attention. He honestly can't believe this, can't even begin to understand why this is happening. Rosie would want them to go. After her initial shock at how much everything would cost (of course). She was always so supportive like that, and he always wanted to give her the world in return. But--
"Of course we'll go with you."
He exhales the loudest sigh of relief once he gets the words out. And then he's just laughing, the arm under Loki's hand shifting so he can grab his friend's hand instead for the most awkward shake. It's not a hug, but it's something for the meanwhile over the dinner table. If it weren't in the way - he'd be throwing his arms around Loki's shoulders.
...Totally forgetting about Dale and his stupid golf game until a thought hits him.
"I need to tell the kids."
Don's food continues getting colder in front of him as he shifts in his seat to pull out his phone. Sean is getting a text. One second, sorry.
His phone starts buzzing instantly and Don commits the taboo of answering it, turning away and whispering into it with a hand covering his mouth.
"I can't talk right now but yes. We're going. I just told you. You can tell Kev, yeah. Don't freak out. We'll talk more about it when I get home. Heat up those leftovers like I told you alright? PB and J isn't okay for dinner. Love you too."
And he ends the call, trying not to look oh so giddy as he mouths an apology to Loki and hides his phone away.
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A chuckle rolled free of him. "I may just take you up on that, but, we will see, you know how hard it is for me to say no to your cooking." The smile grew when Don finally agreed. A brilliant smile offered the man's way. No way did he expect Don to cook for him more than he does, but he would always enjoy what Don makes and give his honest feedback.
Squeezing Don's hand back in the awkward shake. Looking utterly amused, as he sat back, taking his hand back, so Don could let the boys know. Lifting his fork and knife, he had let his food get cold enough, Don had to deal with the boys, so Loki started eating. A beautiful fish presentation, with a few sides.
Loki isn't even bothered when Don answers the boys. He actually looks happy before taking another bite, giving Don the time to talk to his boys. It didn't seem possible that he would be able to fall more for the older man, and yet, here it was. Don putting his children before manners. That neither of his parents would ever do. That earned Don so much respect. Maybe he would have been better off if his parents had put him before their reputations, but whose to say.
Shaking his head when he saw that mouthed apology, Loki shakes his head, still smiling. "They are your boys, I will never judge you taking care of them before anything else. As I have said before, you are a fantastic father, Donald Marcus. Now, you simply must try this before it gets too cold."
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And he'll stick to his guns. Loki can say he's handling everything and that Don doesn't have to do a single thing for him in return - but this is just how the older man is. How exactly can he pay back an all expenses paid trip to the Super Bowl for him and his kids plus all the extras? Don hasn't got the slightest idea. But he'll figure it out. Somehow. He won't be able to live with himself otherwise.
He has so much energy now! Excited energy, nervous energy. Don can't believe this is a thing that's happening. He nearly asks to be excused so he can go for a walk, but - dinner. Right. There is glorious (expensive) food sitting in front of him that's going to waste. His stomach is doing somersaults, but he has to at least try and eat.
"Is it still good?" he asks, picking up his silverware before digging in himself. (His napkin has been laid out over his lap this whole time. Real proper-like.)
Don is positively beaming as he cuts into his fish, unable to stop talking about his kids. He blushes a bit at being called a fantastic father and does his best to shrug it off. "He's so excited. Kev's gonna flip out too. This means so much, Loke. Thank you."
And when he takes his first bite, he sits with it and contemplates. He doesn't speak until he's swallowed. "...What sort of sea bass was this again?" he asks, pointing the prongs of his fork down towards his plate. "Real nice flavor."
For once Don doesn't seem tired. He's usually lively in his free time - especially if it's being spent with his best friend. But there's something different here, like he's been completely renewed and refreshed and the circles beneath his eyes have been erased.
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Had Don asked, Loki would have understood the food could be boxed up. His microwave was the hardest worked appliance in his house, besides maybe the coffee marker and kettle. "It is, while a little cold it is fine." While most might expect him to be picky about food, he really isn't. He loves to eat and gets distracted a lot at work, so cold food is kind of normal for him at this point. It was still flavorful.
Another bite or two was taken as Loki listened to Don, nodding some. "I am glad I can help with making them happy with this. You're welcome, Don. Thank you for agreeing." It would be easier to play aloof with someone there to talk too, if he was on his own, his family might realize he actually cares about Thor's sports career. Can't have that.
"Black sea bass, I believe, it said." He knew it did, but saying it that way sounded better in his head. "Oh yes, I agree. Still, not as good as the lemon pepper ones you made a month or two ago." He admitted. As expensive as this was, he'd happily sit at Don's table and eat anything the man made. Dinner here was just to get Don out of the house and let him walk along the peir as they had before dinner.
Loki doesn't say anything about it, but seeing that strange energy shift in Don makes him smile. Returning to his food but feeling warm from helping his best friend seem lighter and excited.
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"Oh what - the tilapia?" Don makes a face, resting his fork at the edge of his plate. "That was nothing." And yeah he can't take a compliment either. Lemon pepper tilapia with couscous isn't anything special. He's made it a million times before, just switch the couscous out for rice or veggies or--
"...Thanks, that's sweet." There he is, finally taking the compliment after much internal debate. Looking so bashful about it as he picks up his fork and pops another bite of the fish into his mouth. He washes it down with a healthy gulp of wine, then lets out a rather relaxed-sounding sigh - all things considered. He can't stay ruffled for too long with the prospect of a well-deserved break looming in the near future. Logistics be damned.
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Loki didn't seem to bothered by any of it, just working on his fish, it was cooling yes, but still delicious. Nodding when Don named the fish. "Says the man who cooks as good as any professional chef. And in your spare time at that." Loki spoke, pointing a fork Don's way. Nope, Loki is not letting Don play that down. Don was quickly becoming his favorite cook he could see often.
"You're welcome." A smile offered his way before Loki went back to work on finishing the fish. Waving off more wine when the waitress offered more.
end :)
"Annoy away," he comments, poking at some veggies with his fork. "My day doesn't feel complete until you've annoyed me at least once." And he pops the fork into his mouth, giving Loki a closed-mouth smile as he chews.
"Mm, professional chef? Maybe I'm in the wrong line of business." He's thought about it before - cooking for living. But he'd probably have to go to school or something, really throw himself into it to get anywhere. Taking care of flowers and floral arrangements come easy to him, and he's got a responsibility there with the shop.
Don doesn't say anything more, just smiles to himself at the kind words. It's nice to hear them once in a while. He appreciates the gesture.
When Loki waves the waitress away, Don actually gets her attention to top off his glass. He gets a little chatty too, most likely his way of apologizing for blowing her off entirely earlier in the meal. She's getting a generous tip too. Cash. And no, Loki's not handling that. Don will be the one to leave it in the check holder, he insists.
Taxes
It had been stupid, he shouldn't have kissed Don, and after weeks of silence, Loki was finally heading back to Don's house. Thor had burst through his bedroom door earlier that day and finally ripped into him, as someone needed to do for weeks now. Thor had been working with Don on the wedding flower planning since the season was done, and he could see the misery on Don as much as on Loki.
He might not be the sharpest tack but after the talk at Disney, the weeks working with Don, and the call from their mom and now this? Absolutely not. The fight was only screaming until Loki grabbed his bag that was still packed from sleep-overs on Don's couch, and currently had his laptop in it, and made his way out.
Loki had already planned to go see Don today, but he had been fretting when Thor burst in. His nerves wavering as he finally pulled onto Don's street. Fenrir asleep in the back, he couldn't leave his boy behind when he saw Loki with the bag. When the car stopped, Loki took a moment to collect himself before stepping out with the bag and letting Fenrir out. His furry son awake by the time he shut the engine off. He could see the boys peering out the window, and vanishing. The door was about to open and he knew it. "Come." He spoke to Fenrir making his way to the door.
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Tonight Don is begrudgingly working on his taxes, struggling to figure out how to take care of the ones for the shop. He sits alone at the kitchen table, the freshest flowers meant for Frigga yet undelivered as always in the green vase at the center. Mug of cold, forgotten coffee beside him. So many papers and receipts and folders strewn across his open ledger. Music softly coming from his cell phone, face down and left close to the vase.
He had told Sean and Kevin to occupy themselves after they packed up the leftovers from their Chinese delivery for dinner, that he had work to do. Real boring work. Lots of numbers and forms. They know better than to act up when he's like this, so he hasn't heard a peep in hours. He glances at the clock on the wall, no longer tempted to turn over his phone and check the screen (there won't be any notifications or anything there anyway so what's the point), and considers taking a break soon to get the boys to bed.
He goes back to the receipts in front of him, still sorting through this particular pile, when he picks up the faintest commotion from the front of the house. The bark of a dog - Fenrir's bark. His brows knit, but he doesn't move from his chair. The rush of padded feet and then the front door being unlocked and flung open.
"LOKI!"
Don turns so quick in his seat the motion of his arm sends his mug straight to the floor. It smashes on the tile, breaking into several hefty pieces, cold coffee splattering across the squares and grout. He flinches but only for a moment, casually glancing back at the mess and reassigning its importance in record time. It's not important. It can wait. Before he realizes it he's in the front hall, standing there dumbfounded with a pile of receipts still clutched in his hand, a look of utter disbelief on his face as he witnesses the boys fussing with Fenrir and sets eyes on the man he thought he'd never see again.
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Fenrir was busy tackling Sean to the floor licking all over his face, while trying to also lick at Kevin. Puppy was just so happy. While Loki's eyes locked on Don, he gave a sharp whistle, which got Fenrir to let Sean up. As Loki stepped past the three. "Excuse me, boys."
Making his way, with the bag still over his shoulder instead of dropped on the couch. "Sorry, I am late, Don." It was lame, but it was better than saying nothing. His eyes sad, and voice scratchy still from the actual sickness he was still recovering from. The flu that made him a week late in finally reuniting with the man. "May we speak?" A respectable distance left between them. He had heard that coffee cup break when the boys opened the door. So he wanted to wait and see what Don said.
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"Late?" he repeats, a sharpness to his tone. He exhales slowly, nearly throws his arms up, almost loses his resolve. But no. No. He's not going to blow up. He can't do that - not here, not in front of the kids. "Loki, it's been two months."
There's an annoyed shake of his head, a gesture for Loki to follow him, and Don turns on his heels to head back towards the kitchen. Doesn't even wait for him, just stares straight ahead on his way. But he makes sure to call out to the boys before he forgets, mustering the most pleasant voice he can manage: "Guys, please make sure to lock up. Bed soon, alright?"
When he enters the kitchen, the receipts he's holding are carelessly dropped onto the table by where he was seated. He pauses, observing the mess of spilled coffee and broken ceramic on the floor next to his chair, and he drags his feet over to the sink. Determined to clean up as a means of distracting himself from the incoming conversation.
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He knows that answer. Following Don silently, his bag sat down on a chair while Don cleans up the coffee, taking a breath as he watched him a moment and waited until he finally has his words as Don's cleaning.
"I shouldn't have ghosted you." He admits it, sounding sad as he said it. "I just knew that kissing a straight man like I did was not smart. I assumed you would hate me." He shifted his green eyes to Don. "I couldn't bear the thought of you hating me, Don. So, I ran." Reaching up to run a hand through his messy hair. He hated what a mess he had become, but if he had cleaned up more he would have chickened out. "Mum spoke to me a couple weeks ago, but then the whole office got sick." He shrugged some. "Covid, what can you do? I had to wait until I was better. I'm sorry, Don, for any pain I caused. You mean the world to me, I don't want to lose you."
Yes, he word vomitted right there in the kitchen.
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Spilling his coffee all over the floor proves to be more of a godsend than anything else, because it helps him bite his tongue and keep biting it as Loki fumbles his way through whatever it is he's trying to say. The more he rambles, the deeper the ditch he's digging for himself.
Don remains silent, occasionally shaking his head yet not saying a single word in response to any of it. In one way it's respectful - he's waiting until Loki is finished. In another, he's forcing himself not to blurt out something he might regret later. Carefully, the pieces of mug are picked up from the tile, and he gathers them in a dish rag he holds in his open palm. They go straight in the trash bin under the sink. It's too late to mop, so paper towels are the course of the action for the coffee mess itself. When all is said and done, it's not the best clean-up job, but it's fine for the time being. Another problem for another day. He's too tired, his blood threatening to boil over.
When he chucks the used up paper towels into the bin, that's slid back to its proper home beneath the sink. He closes the cabinet door slow and quiet. There's no slam. When he straightens up, he's looking out the window over the sink as he washes his hands, out into the dark, seemingly at nothing. Loki's stopped talking by now, and he's just... processing. Considering.
"Made a whole lotta assumptions there," he finally comments after what seems like forever. He turns off the water, dries his hands. After a minute he turns to face his friend, but he can't look up, doesn't dare make an attempt at eye contact. He leans back against the counter, hands propping himself on the edge. Staring at the tile and the table legs and Loki's feet as he tries formulating what to say next.
"I don't think I could ever hate you, Loki." He swallows, shifting the way he's standing. Uncomfortable. "But you disappeared without a word. Couldn't even text me back?"
That last thing comes out as more of a question, and Don looks up, an expression of the utmost hurt plastered all over his face. It's not something he can hide or even try to. Because yeah - he's hurt. He's been hurt for weeks now.
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This rambling is exactly why Loki gets in trouble with his family as much as he does. That hot temper and all of his issues together did not make a healthy person. Loki watched as he spoke as Don cleaned up the mug and moved about. His anxiety growing when his friend didn't cut him off and jump in as he often did in the garage.
Unsure what to do with his hands, he left them at his side as Don finally started to speak. Those tired green eyes watching him. "I did..." He admitted nodding softly, messy curls bouncing as he did.
Both relief and pain drifted through him as Don spoke. "I didn't know what to say... I'm sorry." He apologized, his voice regretful as he spoke it. His therapist had given him the riot act too. Finally, reaching into his pocket and holding his hand out, a set of keys in his hand. "I know I have a problem with running, it's one of the things I work with my therapist on. Take these, these are both keys to my house. If I dare do this again, come confront me." They were clearly newly made keys, too. That hurt look on Don stabs his heart as he held the keys Don's ways.
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"I'm sorry I ghosted here are the keys to my house?" is what he settles on, perhaps a bit too prematurely. It's either this or let the extremely awkward silence grow and grow and become way too uncomfortable... Even more than it already is.
"...Your therapist told you to make copies of your house keys." It's not a question. It's a statement. Like he's trying to convince himself this is totally rational.
He doesn't take them. His arms cross over his chest instead.
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"It sounds weird when you say it that way. This is me saying I don't want to lose this again. And If I do it again, please come drag me out. This is my promise that you are one of the most important people in my life, Don."
Keys still held out, as he watched Don with those green eyes.
"No, she told me I was a moron and to fix it. This is me trying to fix it, that, and I am also here to do your taxes as I promised too. I thought those together might help some."
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"Have a seat, I guess," he finally decides on. He nods toward the kitchen table, the mess of receipts and papers on top of it. No mention of the keys. He'll have to mull that over for a little while.
"I can put on a fresh pot of coffee. Or put the kettle on for tea. It's whatever you want."
Before Loki can give him an answer, he's already milling about in preparation.
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"Alright." A second spared to step back to grab his laptop from his bag to place it on the table. Moving to look over the mess of recipes and papers as he loaded up his laptop and he started to organize everything quickly while Don spoke. "Tea sounds divine, but this feels like a coffee night."
His leather jacket removed and hung on the back of the chair as he sat and started to look over the papers. "Whatever is easiest."
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After that, the kitchen is uncomfortably quiet save for that faint rustling of those papers as he sifts through the cabinets and pulls out everything he needs. There's nothing for him to say, really. Nothing he can think of saying at the moment. He's still angry, sure. And a large part of him doesn't want to jump straight to forgiveness, despite the other desperately wanting to fix this. And what about the house keys...
He dares to glance over his shoulder at Loki seated at the table every once in a while, wanting to say something but shutting his mouth before turning back and busying himself some more. Loki hasn't done anything like this before with him. It's a first-time offense. Hopefully a last-time? But should he give him another chance...? It was quite the disappearing act, one that sent him through the wringer multiple times.
The mental debate and gymnastics continue as he waits leaning against the counter for the coffee to brew. It's only then he bothers grabbing a few mugs from their designated cabinet close by, following that up with creamer and sugar. Everything is deposited on the table a decent distance away from where Loki's working (no spills, please). And finally he brings the steaming mugs of fresh black coffee over to the table, setting one down for Loki, the other for himself, before he sits himself back in his chair from earlier.
"Is it bad?" he asks, changing the subject as he loosely gestures towards the stack of receipts and invoices. He isn't reaching for creamer or sugar, opting to take his first sip without any. "Be honest. I probably did a terrible job and messed it up more."
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Loki was already doing what he does best. Finding order in chaos, the papers being quickly moved around and stacked as his laptop was already booted and loaded to the pages he would need, and the Excel sheet he intended to make. Regretting not bringing his portable scanner, but it was fine. This he can do.
"No, no, this is nothing compared to when I was forced into my position at Ragnarok, it took me three months to get the books in order. This may take three hours, and that is just from making a spreadsheet too in case you get audited, you would be prepared." He explained.
Reaching for the black coffee he offered Don a soft smile before having to sit the cup down quickly and turning to cough. Standing to go wash his hands at the sink real fast. "They told me the cough will linger a few weeks, I promise I am not contagious." Always worried given how fast Rosie got sick. "Don't worry, it's not bad, even if you did, I can do this, Don." Returning to his seat for a drink of the coffee.
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That doesn't stop his gaze from drifting towards the keys while they sit at the table together. He keeps sipping at his coffee, wanting to pick them up but resisting.
...His own set of house keys? Really? They kissed, Loki bailed, and now... house keys. After countless weeks of radio silence.
He sighs, perhaps a bit too loudly. He's stuck inside his own head even when he should be focusing on the tax conversation. How could he not be??
"Three hours?" He sets his mug down, glances over at the clock on the wall. "It's already late. Real late. You don't need ta do all this now."
...He also didn't need to come here in the first place. Let him apologize, Don.
He's fighting with himself on the inside, going quiet once again. Idly tapping at the side of his mug.
"What happened, Lokes?" He could be asking about the illness. Or he could be asking about something else entirely.
It's the "something else entirely" - punctuated by the way he's staring Loki down as he comes back to sit at the table.
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The sigh has the green eyes peering over the laptop at him, Loki's fingers still moving quickly as he gets everything set up. He had enjoyed the kiss, but assuming Don was straight, he ran, he didn't want to lose his best friend, but that was what he nearly did. "I work better if I just do it all at once, you don't have to stay up unless you don't trust me alone here. I would understand after what I have done." Hes slept on that couch a lot.
Taking a break, he stopped typing a moment and looked at Don. "I panicked." He admitted low, his eyes staying on Don, the shame there. "I thought you would be mad and never want to see me again. By the time Mother and Thor spoke to me about it, I felt like I had waited too long. It didn't matter that I made myself miserable, hearing how you felt made me feel worse. I wanted to find a way to fix it, but I was scared you'd hate me for one reason or another. Which, again, is an ongoing problem I have been working with my therapist on." The taxes could wait a moment as he spoke.
"You mean the world to me, Don, but I never wanted to make you uncomfortable."
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"You ran instead of openin' your mouth," he comments, trying not to sigh again and failing. "We coulda avoided this whole... [shitshow] thing if you said something to me."
He frowns a little as a thought comes to him. "Am I really that scary, Lokes?" he wonders out loud. Because really - when has Don ever been scary? Or the least bit intimidating? He doesn't think he is, but sometimes a person isn't aware of their own... energy.
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Though the question had him looking up at Don like he was crazy.
"You're not. As I said, I am the problem here. It is always me, like Grímnir has always reminded me." A look of guilt crossing his face as he took a drink. "I don't even remember when I started running from my problems. I try not to, but I always default to it. At least since I got kicked out of school I've had this problem. I expect everyone to react violently to me when I mess up. I know you would never, logically, but minds don't always listen to logic."
Loki being kicked out of school was a pretty famous bit of gossip when it happened, it was not too long before he had met Rosie. They never talk about it, but rumors had circulated from he was on drugs, to arrested at a concert for disorderly behavior, and the one closest to the truth, that he had gotten someone pregnant.
"I want to do better, Don. You're my best friend, and I missed you this last month."
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The irritation is there, but the sadness is much stronger. The disappointment more than evident. He's trying to navigate all of it and remain as level-headed as possible, and eventually he softens. So much.
"I missed you too. A whole lot." He's quiet when he says it, a sheepish little smile spreading across his features before he glances away. "It's been a pretty shitty month without you."
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"I missed you too, Don. I am sorry for all of this." He repeated. "I was so worried I ruined it all." Raking a hand through his messy curls. "Is there any way I can help fix it? I would do anything you ask, Don. I mean that."
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He’s being silly. Just typical Don behavior.
…Or is he?
To counter Loki’s nervous disposition, the older man seems focused and intent. Serious, above all. Leaning in just enough towards him to seem… intimidating in a way, hands folded neatly on the table. Almost like it’s an interrogation.
Don holds it for as long as he can muster, hopefully long enough to illicit some sort of reaction out of Loki before he’s dissolving into little giggles of amusement. It’s the ultimate way to slice through the tension.
“I’m kidding,” he says, stifling the noises with the back of his hand. “You already do enough for me. Just - stick around, okay? Be here.”
And then, almost like an afterthought:
“I could go for another one of those kisses,” he says, his tone light. He leans back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head for a moment before getting comfortable. “That… was really somethin’. If you’re up for it, that is. Don’t want to force you into anything—“
To say Don hasn’t stopped thinking about that magical moment would be the biggest understatement of the century. It’s been replaying on loop for hours, days, weeks. He simply can’t escape it. So maybe another one will knock it out of his head? Momentarily?
He tries not to look too hopeful as he continues to ramble on and on and embarrass himself.
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Then Don dissolved, and Loki finally breathed a breath he didn't know he was holding in.
"You got me..." Loki muttered before finally cracking a grin and chuckling. He still looked like he was sweating bullets, but slowly it was fading as Don spoke on.
"That is what the key is for. If I vanish again, come drag me out, or tell Thor I am being stupid again, okay?" He offered, as Don spoke of the kiss, that grin widened. "Well, Mr. Marcus, I do believe I could grant you that."
The taller standing slowly to make his way over to Don. "Your wish is my command." He teased lightly leaning down to steal a kiss from the older man. Softer than the kiss at Disney but no less feeling in it.