Loki doesn't expect quick forgiveness, lord knows he made Thor jump through hopes to be forgiven. And all Thor had done was make him feel worthless without meaning too. Loki willingly hurt Don thinking it was best.
The sigh has the green eyes peering over the laptop at him, Loki's fingers still moving quickly as he gets everything set up. He had enjoyed the kiss, but assuming Don was straight, he ran, he didn't want to lose his best friend, but that was what he nearly did. "I work better if I just do it all at once, you don't have to stay up unless you don't trust me alone here. I would understand after what I have done." Hes slept on that couch a lot.
Taking a break, he stopped typing a moment and looked at Don. "I panicked." He admitted low, his eyes staying on Don, the shame there. "I thought you would be mad and never want to see me again. By the time Mother and Thor spoke to me about it, I felt like I had waited too long. It didn't matter that I made myself miserable, hearing how you felt made me feel worse. I wanted to find a way to fix it, but I was scared you'd hate me for one reason or another. Which, again, is an ongoing problem I have been working with my therapist on." The taxes could wait a moment as he spoke.
"You mean the world to me, Don, but I never wanted to make you uncomfortable."
Don listens, still tapping at his mug, picking it up once or twice to busy himself with more sips of coffee. Anything to channel the odd mix of angry nervous energy he can't quite shake. Interrupting would be rude and uncalled for and he's already raised his voice with annoyance enough. It's getting late.
"You ran instead of openin' your mouth," he comments, trying not to sigh again and failing. "We coulda avoided this whole... [shitshow] thing if you said something to me."
He frowns a little as a thought comes to him. "Am I really that scary, Lokes?" he wonders out loud. Because really - when has Don ever been scary? Or the least bit intimidating? He doesn't think he is, but sometimes a person isn't aware of their own... energy.
Loki can't help but feel the anxiety amping inside of him. He didn't expect fast forgiveness after what he did. But, seeing Don visably upset and so quiet was unsettling. His fingers kept gliding across the keys until he hit a point where Don had spoke. Lifting his fingers and taking the mug in hand he looked down at first. A noise of agreement following.
Though the question had him looking up at Don like he was crazy.
"You're not. As I said, I am the problem here. It is always me, like Grímnir has always reminded me." A look of guilt crossing his face as he took a drink. "I don't even remember when I started running from my problems. I try not to, but I always default to it. At least since I got kicked out of school I've had this problem. I expect everyone to react violently to me when I mess up. I know you would never, logically, but minds don't always listen to logic."
Loki being kicked out of school was a pretty famous bit of gossip when it happened, it was not too long before he had met Rosie. They never talk about it, but rumors had circulated from he was on drugs, to arrested at a concert for disorderly behavior, and the one closest to the truth, that he had gotten someone pregnant.
"I want to do better, Don. You're my best friend, and I missed you this last month."
"And I don't wanna be a problem, Loki," he replies, shaking his head. Don shifts the way he's sitting, moving his chair just enough to face Loki more head-on. "Don't ever wanna make you feel uncomfortable or like you gotta run away from me, alright?"
The irritation is there, but the sadness is much stronger. The disappointment more than evident. He's trying to navigate all of it and remain as level-headed as possible, and eventually he softens. So much.
"I missed you too. A whole lot." He's quiet when he says it, a sheepish little smile spreading across his features before he glances away. "It's been a pretty shitty month without you."
"You are not and never could be." Loki spoke earnestly, finally pushing the laptop closed for now to focus fully on Don. He would likely start over rather than find his spot later, but for now, eye contact with his beloved friend was far more important.
"I missed you too, Don. I am sorry for all of this." He repeated. "I was so worried I ruined it all." Raking a hand through his messy curls. "Is there any way I can help fix it? I would do anything you ask, Don. I mean that."
“Y’sure about that? Seems like a pretty loaded question to ask.” A pause. “And mean.”
He’s being silly. Just typical Don behavior.
…Or is he?
To counter Loki’s nervous disposition, the older man seems focused and intent. Serious, above all. Leaning in just enough towards him to seem… intimidating in a way, hands folded neatly on the table. Almost like it’s an interrogation.
Don holds it for as long as he can muster, hopefully long enough to illicit some sort of reaction out of Loki before he’s dissolving into little giggles of amusement. It’s the ultimate way to slice through the tension.
“I’m kidding,” he says, stifling the noises with the back of his hand. “You already do enough for me. Just - stick around, okay? Be here.”
And then, almost like an afterthought:
“I could go for another one of those kisses,” he says, his tone light. He leans back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head for a moment before getting comfortable. “That… was really somethin’. If you’re up for it, that is. Don’t want to force you into anything—“
To say Don hasn’t stopped thinking about that magical moment would be the biggest understatement of the century. It’s been replaying on loop for hours, days, weeks. He simply can’t escape it. So maybe another one will knock it out of his head? Momentarily?
He tries not to look too hopeful as he continues to ramble on and on and embarrass himself.
The response made Loki look up color draining from his face as he took in Don. Worried that it may not be his usual silliness, but it could be paranoia too. The more Don sat like he was in trouble, the more color drained from Loki's face.
Then Don dissolved, and Loki finally breathed a breath he didn't know he was holding in.
"You got me..." Loki muttered before finally cracking a grin and chuckling. He still looked like he was sweating bullets, but slowly it was fading as Don spoke on.
"That is what the key is for. If I vanish again, come drag me out, or tell Thor I am being stupid again, okay?" He offered, as Don spoke of the kiss, that grin widened. "Well, Mr. Marcus, I do believe I could grant you that."
The taller standing slowly to make his way over to Don. "Your wish is my command." He teased lightly leaning down to steal a kiss from the older man. Softer than the kiss at Disney but no less feeling in it.
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The sigh has the green eyes peering over the laptop at him, Loki's fingers still moving quickly as he gets everything set up. He had enjoyed the kiss, but assuming Don was straight, he ran, he didn't want to lose his best friend, but that was what he nearly did. "I work better if I just do it all at once, you don't have to stay up unless you don't trust me alone here. I would understand after what I have done." Hes slept on that couch a lot.
Taking a break, he stopped typing a moment and looked at Don. "I panicked." He admitted low, his eyes staying on Don, the shame there. "I thought you would be mad and never want to see me again. By the time Mother and Thor spoke to me about it, I felt like I had waited too long. It didn't matter that I made myself miserable, hearing how you felt made me feel worse. I wanted to find a way to fix it, but I was scared you'd hate me for one reason or another. Which, again, is an ongoing problem I have been working with my therapist on." The taxes could wait a moment as he spoke.
"You mean the world to me, Don, but I never wanted to make you uncomfortable."
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"You ran instead of openin' your mouth," he comments, trying not to sigh again and failing. "We coulda avoided this whole... [shitshow] thing if you said something to me."
He frowns a little as a thought comes to him. "Am I really that scary, Lokes?" he wonders out loud. Because really - when has Don ever been scary? Or the least bit intimidating? He doesn't think he is, but sometimes a person isn't aware of their own... energy.
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Though the question had him looking up at Don like he was crazy.
"You're not. As I said, I am the problem here. It is always me, like Grímnir has always reminded me." A look of guilt crossing his face as he took a drink. "I don't even remember when I started running from my problems. I try not to, but I always default to it. At least since I got kicked out of school I've had this problem. I expect everyone to react violently to me when I mess up. I know you would never, logically, but minds don't always listen to logic."
Loki being kicked out of school was a pretty famous bit of gossip when it happened, it was not too long before he had met Rosie. They never talk about it, but rumors had circulated from he was on drugs, to arrested at a concert for disorderly behavior, and the one closest to the truth, that he had gotten someone pregnant.
"I want to do better, Don. You're my best friend, and I missed you this last month."
no subject
The irritation is there, but the sadness is much stronger. The disappointment more than evident. He's trying to navigate all of it and remain as level-headed as possible, and eventually he softens. So much.
"I missed you too. A whole lot." He's quiet when he says it, a sheepish little smile spreading across his features before he glances away. "It's been a pretty shitty month without you."
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"I missed you too, Don. I am sorry for all of this." He repeated. "I was so worried I ruined it all." Raking a hand through his messy curls. "Is there any way I can help fix it? I would do anything you ask, Don. I mean that."
no subject
He’s being silly. Just typical Don behavior.
…Or is he?
To counter Loki’s nervous disposition, the older man seems focused and intent. Serious, above all. Leaning in just enough towards him to seem… intimidating in a way, hands folded neatly on the table. Almost like it’s an interrogation.
Don holds it for as long as he can muster, hopefully long enough to illicit some sort of reaction out of Loki before he’s dissolving into little giggles of amusement. It’s the ultimate way to slice through the tension.
“I’m kidding,” he says, stifling the noises with the back of his hand. “You already do enough for me. Just - stick around, okay? Be here.”
And then, almost like an afterthought:
“I could go for another one of those kisses,” he says, his tone light. He leans back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head for a moment before getting comfortable. “That… was really somethin’. If you’re up for it, that is. Don’t want to force you into anything—“
To say Don hasn’t stopped thinking about that magical moment would be the biggest understatement of the century. It’s been replaying on loop for hours, days, weeks. He simply can’t escape it. So maybe another one will knock it out of his head? Momentarily?
He tries not to look too hopeful as he continues to ramble on and on and embarrass himself.
no subject
Then Don dissolved, and Loki finally breathed a breath he didn't know he was holding in.
"You got me..." Loki muttered before finally cracking a grin and chuckling. He still looked like he was sweating bullets, but slowly it was fading as Don spoke on.
"That is what the key is for. If I vanish again, come drag me out, or tell Thor I am being stupid again, okay?" He offered, as Don spoke of the kiss, that grin widened. "Well, Mr. Marcus, I do believe I could grant you that."
The taller standing slowly to make his way over to Don. "Your wish is my command." He teased lightly leaning down to steal a kiss from the older man. Softer than the kiss at Disney but no less feeling in it.